It turns out that for millennials, good sex is more than just a perk in a relationship—it is a priority.
A recent Newsweek-commissioned survey conducted by Talker Research found that quality sex ranks as the most important factor for millennials when choosing a partner, surpassing shared hobbies, political views and even lifestyle similarities.
The survey, which was conducted between February 12 and February 14, 2024, polled 1,000 general-population Americans and asked respondents to rate the importance of various relationship factors. Among millennials—those born between 1981 and 1996—53 percent ranked the quality of sex as a top priority, making it the most agreed on non-negotiable.
By contrast, only 24 percent said political alignment was important, while 28 percent prioritized having similar hobbies. The only other factor that ranked highly was having a similar lifestyle, which was cited by 39 percent of respondents.
Newsweek illustration/ Getty Images
Emma Hewitt, a certified sex educator, told Newsweek that the results reflect a generational shift in attitudes toward sexual satisfaction and communication in relationships.
“Millennials rating good sex higher than anything else is likely because they are done with having average or just OK sex,” Hewitt, who hosts the podcast The Electric Rodeo, told Newsweek.
“Millennials grew up with some pretty questionable messaging about sex, a lot of which focused on how to please and pleasure your partner but never how to ensure that you were also receiving the kind of pleasure that you need.”
Hewitt, who is based in New Zealand, pointed to the increased availability of sex education resources as a possible driver of the shift.
“With the rise of sex workshops, sex coaching and social media, we know that many millennials are focusing more on their own pleasure, consent and good communication about sex,” she said. “They know what they want sexually, and they are not going to settle for less.”
Despite prevailing stereotypes about millennials’ attitudes toward relationships—often framed as commitment-averse or overly reliant on dating apps—Hewitt suggested that the emphasis on good sex signals a deeper investment in relationship quality.
“I also think that we should not underestimate the trickledown effects that good sex often has on a relationship,” she said. “A good, partnered sex life usually results in mutual respect, increased intimacy, more connection and more fun, play and pleasure in all aspects of the relationship.”
She also emphasized the role of effective communication in achieving sexual and emotional satisfaction.
“Good sex is often the result of great communication,” Hewitt added. “If you can talk openly and effectively about sex, you should be able to do the same about other elements of your relationship.”
Millennials’ prioritization of sexual compatibility may also be influenced by broader cultural and technological changes. Unlike previous generations, millennials came of age in an era of increased sexual openness, widespread access to online information, and a greater focus on individual fulfillment.
This has led to shifting expectations around relationships, where personal satisfaction—including in the bedroom—is seen as highly important. While Hewitt acknowledged the importance of this sexual fulfillment, she cautioned against relying on it as the only determinant of a healthy relationship.
“I do not think we should focus solely on good sex in a relationship, or depend on it for the positive effects to seep into the rest of the relationship, but I can understand why a lot of millennials are rating it so highly,” she said.
